January 15, 2007

Hoffman Has Nothin' On Me...

So I had to go to the emergency dentist on Friday afternoon. It's true what they say: toothache is worse than childbirth. Don't let any woman tell you otherwise.

I am not registered with a dentist - have not been for many years. I know, my bad. I don't really know why. I never had a bad enough experience to give me legitimate cause. I broke my tooth about a year and a half ago on a pizza crust. Never hurt until this week, and then, boy oh boy did it hurt. The wife said, I told you so, but then, she is always supportive like that.

So now I have a man with ten fingers in my mouth saying: is this sore? is this? how about NOW? What do these guys expect you to do - sign language? What's the sign for stop, you're killing me here? Perhaps the sharp pulling back of your head enough to let them know. I'm thinking, if Marathon Man presses any harder he's going to knock my tooth out anyway, painful or not. Who needs instruments when you push like that? Wait a minute, I didn't sign up for this gig!

Finally, examination over, he gave me the option of root canal or extraction. I wasn't prepared to pay hundreds of pounds for three more appearances under the light, so I settled for getting it whipped out instead (although, as he was mainland European, and his English was not precise, he said teeth instead of tooth, so when he told me he was going to have to take my teeth out I fell out of that big ol' dental chair).

Now I'm on penicillin to get rid of that pesky infection caused by the absess, then I'm back in that chair. I'm still in pain, so go easy on me.


Sophie Playle said...

"toothache is worse than childbirth" - surely only women can compare and decide that? Sheesh! Men! ;)

Teeth scare me. Well, the thought of them going wrong scares me.

Hope the pain/infection goes away soon :(

Nic said...

Ya big wuss!!!

That will teach you not to go to the dentist on time!

Personally I would rather see a denist than a doctor.

Stephanie Campisi said...


I helped out my dad's girlfriend as a desk chick for a few weekends. . .the screaming really set my, erm, teeth on edge after a while. I also watched a root canal being done -- very fiddly and creepy.

But definitely the strangest was this old Polish guy who came in clutching most of his teeth in his hands and begging lispily for help.

Brian G Ross said...

I knew I could count on you, Steph, for a bit of a not-so-tall tale.


Stephanie Campisi said...

Are you calling me a midget?

But yeah, I come from a family of yarn-spinners. A story for every occasion! :)

Jennifer McKenzie said...

Ouch! It sounds AWFUL. How does it compare with a really snarky rejection that makes you feel like every word you've ever written is rubbish?
Hope you get to feeling better.

Emmy Ellis said...

toothache is worse than childbirth

I'd rather give birth than have toothache. Honestly. Toothache is just horrible. Giving birth isn't too nice either but of the two...